After the Birth

I have been taken ill of mind and body, though for how many weeks or days I know not. Every hour that passed was thought to be my last and my blood, which was drawn yesterday, filled several platefuls and seemed tinged at the sides by a strange green colour. I bless God and Papa that despite my distemper I can now make another entry. I am daily steadying. The tumultuousness of feelings is passing off and the craving to walk in the hills at night is not so bad. Sometimes I just stare at the walls around my bed and slowly begin to understand the nature of my gift – this wriggling, living thing that I call my son. He and I will remain in Salzburg for the present and Katharina Gilowska, my very own Schatzl, has arranged to take the waters with me. Papa and the new wet nurse will attend to my sweet boy while we are away. N.