Friday, May 26, 2006

As Dictated to Josef Metzger:

30th July 1829
My last Will and Testament while I can still think, speak and see a little:
I give Mama’s two jeweled rings to my nephews, Karl Thomas and Franz Xaver Mozart. What rights that I retain to my brother’s Requiem shall also be transferred to them and I instruct Franz Xaver Mozart to destroy all existing compositions by me. The snuffbox with the royal crest I give to my stepdaughter Maria-Anna zu Sonnenburg and my second best ivory snuffbox to the surviving niece of Katharina Gilowska. All other monies and worldly goods I bequeath in their entirety to my son, Leopold Berchtold zu Sonnenburg.

It is true that except in the matter of this diary, I have been an exile from what has gone before. I am sometimes gripped by a pattern of lights, a glittering aura that I cannot blink away. Just as it persists, without any intention on my part, it will suddenly cease to be and what I perceive in its aftermath appears fainter, until I can only see the shadows in front of me. That I know, though I cannot see.

It lasts - this aura- no more than six or seven seconds or the experience would be more than spirits could bear. Perhaps it is a moment of dying, a pleasurable signal and not a thing of fear that I am returning to the place from where I came, an instant of reckoning where I feel compelled to recapture what is past without a quill. I am quite tired.
Maria Anna Walburga Ignatia Mozart zu Sonnenburg


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